What will happen when it's our turn?

Well, I have not ridden once since my trip to VT, something that is becoming tradition because after last year’s ride I left her alone for a week, too. But after dinner out with friend’s tonight, I’ll be back to a normal schedule. Things have been busy with Karl coming home…

This weekend we drove out to Syracuse to see some friends of ours that we don’t see too often (obviously due to the 5.5 hour drive).

They had a baby in July and – like all the other couples we know who have had babies – I was amazed at how much they have changed because of it. This free-wheeling, always traveling, designer label wearing couple has been instantly transformed into one wipes drool up with sleeves, centers conversations on feeding schedules and is adamantly against daycare.
Now, do not get me wrong here – there is absolutely nothing wrong with your child being the center of your universe – in fact, I believe that’s the way it should be. And my thirty-year-old-self is definitely feeling the baby-pangs. While most of our friends are “finished” after their second successful attempt at parenthood, Karl and I have yet to buy a house, have a second car, or go on a cruise – the many milestones of early marriage we have yet to conquer before one has children, although I’m slowly getting over the life-progression timeline I had in my head at age 18.

We are mostly without a baby at this time b/c of all the moving and Army stuff we’ve gone through, and that’s ok – I would not trade my trips to Korea, my time in El Paso, or the past year for anything else. I am very glad we did not rush into becoming parents. However, I believe the time is coming for it to be our turn.

And that thought makes me wonder, how will we change – past experience with my many child-rearing friends is telling me that babies change everything so I can only ponder at my own 180-degree change.

This makes me think of Sky, and how my life with her will be affected. I’ve already seen horses go without riding b/c their owner is now a parent and I’ve seen much-loved dogs go ignored after the new arrival comes. What will happen to my horse? I know I’ll ride as long as I can while pregnant, something some people in my life will understand and others won’t – but what about after? Aside from the obvious monetary issues, will Sky be as important to me? Will I have time for her? Will I ever show again after I’m a mom?

I know I have visions of an imagined little girl winning lead-line ribbons aboard my beautiful mare – and of my beautiful mare’s baby becoming the horse said little girl rides someday… but experience tells me that kids fill up a life and that there isn’t room for much else… I also know what everyone reading this will say to me – that life is what you make it and if you make room for the horses, there will be. I know it is possible to have both, but is it really feasible? I have never been one to like letting a horse be a lawn ornament and I will not stand for my own to be one. But the thought of giving her up is nearly as bad.

Anyway, that’s the thought for the day – what happens to my horse life when babies are in the mix? I hope someday I get an answer – a good one.

C