what's happening lately

Hello all.

So, I have a lot to say and a little time to say it, so I am going to be consise, if I can.

First, the camping trip... oh my well-planned, deeply thought out, camping trip. Ashleigh, Amanda, Betsy and I were so excited to go and despite some bad weather reports, we went forward, gung-ho to have a good time. The drive up was super long but the weather was decent for that, so it wasn't so bad. I was so anxious to get up there and get a good ride in before the inevitable rain was to arrive.

We finally pulled into the state park, after honestly thinking that we were on the wrong track, in the middle of nowhwere, VT. The horse camping sites were situated on a small "field" which reminded us more of a lawn...with small sites dotting the edge. The areas for the horses were rather tiny but we figured it would be ok. There was not a soul around, so we felt like we had the whole place to ourselves, which was nice. We managed to get everything set and get saddled in time for a ride. We headed one way, down a dirt road which reminded me of a class six road. When we saw a trail sign, I asked if anyone wanted to check it out. Once on that trail, I did realize that it was truly, a hiking trail - narrow and rocky... but it was passable. I figured we would come out on another dirt road or loop around to where we came from...

I am not going to go into extreme detail on this trail - only to say that here's a bit of advice: when you go through the second or third really bad rocky spot on a trail then it's time to turn around! I have never been so scared on a trail that my horse would break a leg and that I might go flying as well! Needless to say, we are safe and alive, and I thank god for that.

Friday night we had a great dinner, courtsey of Amanda, and settled into our tents. I didn't sleep that well, not because I wasn't warm or comfortable, but because the rain was coming down so hard and I was so concerned about the tent leaking! So, I slept a bit, but woke up early to the middle of the tent dripping a little bit. It turned out that was nothing compared to the night Ashleigh and Amanda had! The poor girls had a leaky tent all night and their horses paced and they got their sleeping bags wet. After a little discussion, we decided to pack it in, although Betsy and I were willing to stay longer.

Sunday Betsy and I forced ourselves back into the truck and dragged our poor horses another hour to Marsh Billings... it was SOOO WORTH IT. It was a beautiful day and I love Marsh Billings more than any other place we ride. We traveled around for a full three and a half hours and although my butt was done, my heart could've gone more! It made up for the bad day before and it was great.

Since then I rode last night - with Dave which was super fun. I was so glad he was willing to go and do what I like. He seemed to have fun, so that was good.

On another note, life is settling down and getting crazy. I am now watching Braeden for Lisa while she and Josh are both back to work. The good part is that I am contributing to the household and providing some use of myself while I am staying with them. The bad part is it is keeping me from looking for another job as hard as I should. I am thinking seriously about going to grad school starting in January, but I also need time to figure that out. I am trying very hard to keep my eye on the future, but the present is taking so much of my energy it is rough. I am taking life day by day as of now.. happy moments and angry moments, frustrating times and times when it "seems" like all will be ok. I do not really know what the future holds, and I am concerned about it, but right now it takes all my energy to get through each day with the same conviction that I woke up with...I am surprised that I am remaining strong but I can finally see the forest through the trees... I can finally see now that I am going to be alright. I don't know how and I don't know when but I am pretty sure it's going to happen.

C