December

Hello All.

Life is once again covered in a blanket of snow, and the world is colder and headed again for a long hibernation. I'd say quiet but that is the exact opposite of life at the moment! All I wish for for Christmas is a little peace and quiet.

I love Christmas. I do. I love trees with white lights and driving around to look at houses, hot chocolate in hand. I love Christmas songs and ornaments and warm nights with family full of laughter. What I don't like about Christmas is the endless shopping with money I don't have, fighting crowds of people doing the same. I don't like festering over who gets cards and who gets presents and who gets homemade cookies I only wish I had time to bake. It's the gifts that make me wish Christmas would just be over with... and don't get me started on gift cards...the stupid idea of gift cards! If you are going to give me $20 and I am going to give you $20, couldn't we have just kept our money and said Happy Holidays.

Anyway, it's that time of year again, like it or not and after this and New Years' it's just an endless winter which I will be bitching about not being able to ride in. Hopefully I will be keeping too busy to really think about that. My "job" which I can't really call al real job because it's not going to be permanaent for a while (if at all - they are keeping me on temp status for an indefinate amount of time) is keeping me busy. I like the work, it's a good mix of everyday tasks and larger projects that pop up. The mix of people in the building is interesting enough to make the days go by fast and I am finding myself hoping more and more that one day they keep me for real....like Little Orphan Annie.

There are also plans this winter to re-introduce me to the wonderful world of snomobiling! HA! I used to go with my old trainer, down in Winchester, when I lived Keene during the winters there when riding wasn't a real option. I rode on the back of hers, going on short trips and once riding all the way to Keene for lunch. I liked it then. Of course I had a lot of equipment to borrow to keep me warm and an experienced driver to take the helm.

This winter my boyfriend, Dave, and Lisa's husband and good friend, Josh, are excited to get me out when they go. There are three sleds here..one that belongs to Lisa which gets used much more by the array of friends who come to ride with the boys. This winter the sled has been promised to me for first dibs and hopefully I will love it and not kill myself! Ha... I doubt either one of them will let me do that.. well, not the first few times out anyway.

So, we are waiting for snow and waiting for winter to work it's way through our lives once again. Sky is beautiful per usual... fuzzy like a wild Indian pony on the plains... I love how she fuzzes up and looks so sweet and innocent in the winter. I love letting her out to just be a horse for while, with no worries of shows and trails and trailer rides. She is enjoying a new friendship with a gelding boarder who has arrived by the name of Jordon and he and her are the lowest of the herd.

We had some friends over for dinner the other night and Avery, their older son, had a blast feeding the horses apples and carrots, trying to determine in his five-year-old mind which one was the biggest. It was so incredibly sweet and I was so proud of them all... glad that these, my only of my older friends to have made an effort to stay in touch, were there to be a part of my new life. It meant so much to me and it still does. I missed the 'ol Christmas party with that group of friends... partly b/c I had a tupperware event scheduled for that day and partly b/c I wasn't sure that it was the right place for me to be. I love all the children and my old friends, that I had with Karl, aren't bad people, they just had a way as a group of never letting me in.

I cannot exactly describe how I am doing. I feel at home in my skin, and at peace with exactly who I am. I know that I am accepted and I have stopped really looking for approval (except from my parents, who I never will). I am trying to live life to the fullest every day. My uncle passed away recently - suddenly - and it showed me that you never have any idea what will happen next and you should take each day as a blessing.

Merry Christmas everyone. I love you.

C