Journey

Wow, I guess it's been awhile.

I was in the bookstore last night and was reading about wedding websites and blogs and had a thought for a moment that I should start one, but then I thought, "no, I HAVE a blog"...that I barely write on anymore, I suppose.

It's not for lack of things going on, I can assure you all. I am busier than I should be, and as I sit here on Sunday morning with my hot cup of coffee and the quiet that this house never experiences except for early weekend mornings, my mind is reeling in possibilities.

Sky is amazing. She is doing very well. We worked pretty hard to get ready to show last Sunday...Lisa rode her a bunch of times and I rode in the yard a lot, foregoing the trail in favor of working on that crazy lope of hers, trying to get her to slow down. By last Saturday I was feeling relatively confident and ready to go...and then came the rain. Buckets of rain with weather reports warning of lightening and tornatos, so no show for us. Oh well. Honestly, I wasn't that heartbroken about it.

We went and did a cow horse clinic a few weeks ago with some girls from the Blackwater group and it was a blast. Sky did me proud and showed off that she hasn't forgotten any of the training from NM. She did the rollbacks better than any horse there, I have to say. She did great on the cow until it tried to climb through the fence, but that scared me too! I for one cannot wait to try it again.

So life has been a whirlwind. Dave has been laid off for a few weeks here, and is slowly starting to work for his and Adam's company - a gig that will turn full time as soon as they take over their family friends' company this summer. We have been showing this house - attempting to sell it which is an exercise in patience I am failing miserably at... mostly b/c we are hopeful that we will be able to buy a house in Bow which the opportunity for fell into our laps in a big way. Circumstances had to be 'just so' for us to even know about it, let alone get the ball rolling before another bump in the road. We are consumed by the possibility of this house and the waiting is, as you might guess, difficult.

I have a hard time trying to remember to not get ahead of myself, because the thousand false starts before this tell me that this will not work out either, but the dreamer in me cannot stop the momentum...I dream about quiet days spent at this place, with my husband and my horse and future dogs and cats and more horses (not too many, mind you). I am already heart-set on having the wedding there and neither Dave or I can stop talking about it. It sounds like love, huh?

Life is about journey. You never "end up" anywhere until you are dead, I think. Life has motion. and inertia. Dreams don't stop for broken hearts or circumstances or empty bank accounts. We move and life moves and there is no getting out of the way...only moving forward. It's hard to deal with sometimes b/c you can want to drag your feet, desperate to stop, at times. But other times you are rolling with the motion and enjoying every moment, like you would on a roller coaster or cantering through an open field.

Dave talks sometimes about just wanting to be in our own house and with our own lives, but I try to remember that we need to enjoy where we are now b/c we'll never be here again. I am going to remember this time as a great time....the best I can hope for is to miss these Sunday mornings in this house and these crazy times when I am spending every spare moment ripping up floors and cleaning out barns and doing God-knows-what.

Anyway, enough philosophy for now. Dave is up... and we're moving again.

Love you all.

C

The Latest...Parts 1 and 2

Part 1 - Driving a Standard

So, I am doing my very best to think of what to do with my horse. Part of me feels like I'm expecting too much out of her b/c I'm like a college kid who can't pick a major! I think about this summer and all the possibilities of things I want to do and I can't decide...I want to trail ride, I want to camp, I want to do team sorting and push cows around, I want to ride Western Pleasure shows, I want to do showmanship, I want to ride English, I want to do gymkhana.... phew...no wonder she's ok at a lot of things and not really good at anything...

So, in the spirit of trying to do one thing at a time (something that's working at my new job), I rode her and thought about what I needed first... First I needed her to stop flipping out on the trail when she can't go as fast as she wants and second, I want to work on getting her reining one handed for when we do our ranch work clinic in May.

After her escapade on the trail a couple of weekends ago, I had Lisa ride her a little bit and we started working her in a snaffle and working on 'long and low'..getting her to stretch her neck out and down rather than just tucking her chin to her chest to avoid the bit. In riding her a few times working on this, I realized a few things about my horse...the most important of which is that she will do a lot to avoid having to do things the hard way... she's funny.. she'll avoid the bit, throw out a shoulder or hip, lean on the rein pressure..all to avoid doing the work... but she tries and the more I work with her the more she seems to get it.

But in doing this I'm looking at her and I wonder... am I pushing her the right way? Is she a "pleasure horse"...does she look stupid with her head low and trotting super slowly? Am I wasting a lot of time getting her to hold herself a certain way if down the road I want to do something else?

My car broke the other day. I couldn't see how fast I was going or how much gas I had... So I flipped out and had visions of big mechanic bills but Dave took it all in stride...just like he always does and he suggested I might take his car to work the next day if he couldn't fix it right away. Now, I can drive a standard..I did it for two weeks once.. but I don't do it every day so I am out of practice. It's more thinking than driving automatic...it takes more steps...gas, clutch, shift, gas...brakes, clutch, shift, gas....on and on.. with an automatic you just drive ...faster, slower, but with a standard there's more. You can shift down and go slower and never touch the brake...you can shift up and get more power...

So, my point is that Sky is a standard and I've been driving her automatic...She needs shifting... she knows more than just driving... There's SO MUCH to think of but I have to have faith that when I put the clutch in at the right moment, and when I learn to shift at the right time, she's going to feel like the sports car she is and not the sedan I've been riding... :)

Part 2 - Peer Pressure

So, I have officially bowed to peer pressure. I broke down and ordered a helmet. I am getting old and old people stop being stupid. I love my life and people who love their lives want to stay alive. I get scared sometimes and a little security is a glorious thing, so I've found.

I mainly want to stop being the only person on organized rides NOT wearing a helmet and want to have it around for other times.

But today I decided not only am I going to have a helmet, I'm going to actually wear it! Sky and I were tooling around in the front yard, doing a rollback or two against the fence, when I walked her up parallel to the fence, facing down the road...I stopped her, I paused and as I was about to turn her into the fence and get her to turn on her butt, I heard the familiar and expected squeal of brakes of the UPS truck Josh was waiting for! I knew it was going to carrean to a halt right behind me beside the road... I knew it was going to be loud and that Sky couldn't see it. And in the moment that I thought "I'm FUCKED!" the sounds came and Sky was gone...She bolted across the yard and for a moment I thought I would stay on and then she hopped a little and I slid around my saddle and just when I had it so I thought I might be ok, she tripped HARD and although she didn't fall to her knees, I was suddenly on the ground... Back first, then head and by the time I stopped saying "ow ow" and looked up, the UPS guy was halfway down the driveway carrying two large boxes... he half-heartedly asked if I was ok and I'm not sure if it was Sky or myself who gave him the dirtier look. She was standing across the yard, not far from where I fell, reins under her feet, breathing hard and staring down the UPS guy with a look that I can only describe as scared disdain. She was easy to catch and I thank Lisa for getting on her again while I found an ice pack.

I am grateful I am ok. I am grateful Sky is ok and I'm still pissed at the UPS guy, but I guess that there are less people who know about horses than those who don't and I can't blame a person for ignorance.

The super ironic part is that I had a package from State Line Tack waiting for me at home and had I had it sent to Josh and Lisa's rather than home like I'd thought to, the UPS guy who scared the shit out of my horse and \caused me to fall would've been carrying my new helmet!

Now that's irony!

Love to you all.

C

A breath of Spring

So, my blogger reading friends, life is renewed...spring has sprung.. the birds are chirping and the sun is shining and you can smell that smell - you know that smell - the earth free of the snow once again, the sun warming the inside of your car, the fresh sweet smell of possibility wafts through the air.

For those of you who haven't heard, the powers that be at Freudenberg NOk in Northfield have finally freed me from the shackles of being a temporary employee and have FINALLY started to pay me a decent wage (well, not yet but in a couple days I'll get my first Real paycheck since March of 2009!)

It's a relief, to say the least. I am actually making more than I did before I got laid off, which is the final FU to my old company, who not only couldn't see my potential, but refused to allow my true personality to seep into my job.

Anyway, enough bitterness.. I'm over that. Really. Today I am looking forward to a new day and a new summer - one in which I will be working my butt off... I am vowing to live up to the old saying, "work hard, play hard" - in fact, I declare that my motto for the summer.

Here's my plan:

1. Work Work Work - hey, I'm stuck there anyway, so I might as well be super good at it, right?! Plus, I have a new respect for what it takes to get a job and keep a job and I have a new gratitude for the simple privilege of getting up daily and "getting" to go to work

2. Play, Play, Play!!! (and play more!) - I have spent the winter eating a LOT of vegetables and now I"m down to a stealthy 17 pounds from November!.... So I am taking the summer to enjoy it - I am using my new ability to run 3.25 miles on a treadmill to try to shove my butt up a mountain or two!... I want to hike, bike, kayak, camp and basically have a good time with my good friends.

3. Ride, Ride, Ride - Sky is in for it! I want to play with cows, ride English, do gymkhanas, show pleasure, and trail ride and horse camp! I might not do it all to blue ribbon quality, but I plan on having a kick ass time trying!

So, that's the plan. Phew.. this fresh air is getting to my head! Honestly, I am so happy I just want to enjoy life! I want to take every day in with a gratitude and a grace and a joy that is worthy of the life I live. My only wish has got to be that I can see the good side of every day and be in the moment, enjoying all the things I am blessed with.

Ok - I do realize I sound like a fairy tail princess, like in ENCHANTED... I'll stop... soon... maybe... I guess love does that to you!

So, today I saw Sky and brushed off what I could of her winter woollies (and she was WOOLY)... but I didn't RIDE.. yeah, me.. I didn't ride.. I now feel like one of those people that runs out to the barn every afternoon just to brush and give my horse mint flavored treats before I tuck her into her deeply bedded stall with a warmed blanket and a bedtime story every night..... I actually questioned myself, "am I one of those people?" My answer quickly became no when I whispered to Sky that she better rest up b/c she's in for it. :)

Ok, people, I'm off for the night... big day of life tomorrow... call me up and We'll ride!

C

Peppered Sky, will you be my Valentine?

So, today, the most romantic day of the year, my fiance and my best friends' husband are snowmobiling together. Lisa and I spent the day with a bunch of women! (and a gelding!)... we got together with the ladies from the barn and hoofed it down the road... seven of us total!

It was an interesting ride.. Sky was happy to be chosen to come out of the field and although she seemed a bit uncertain of her saddle going on after a whole two months off, she was proud to lead the group out the driveway.

Oh, my Sky...she wanted to be in front...power walk the whole way so that we might get home as soon as possible! ha ha ha ha... oh Sky - your momma hasn't gotten soft over the winter! I made her go in the back and slow her walk and stay with those in the rear.... she threw a little tantrum at first...ears pinned, foot stomping...too much energy! But she settled down after a while and overall was a good listener.

We went down the road and around again...just a short loop to get the kinks out... too cold for much else but it was nice just the same...it was so wonderful to sit astride my beautiful horse! I love her so...missed her lately. We have big plans for this summer and it looks like with this group, they will be achieved.

Anyway, sorry, not up much for writing but I wanted to say hello and happy Valentine's to all of those who have four-legged, long-nosed, fuzzy loves out there.

C

Winter Goes On...

Hello again people...

I watched Julie and Julia this weekend and I think that any serious blogger would ban me from the world of blogging for writing as little as I do...what can I say, I have a life!

It has been both a comfort and a burdon this winter... I am living in Goffstown and although I enjoy greatly getting home and preparing and eating meals with not only my fiance but my soon to be new brother and sister in law, it does kill the majority of my night. I have a 45 minute drive to and from work and it's a killer most days to drive past good 'ol exit 17, where my horse and my best friend reside. But it's cold and it's dark and the comforts of home are calling me.

Those of you who know me know I am NOT a winter rider. I prefer much to wait until the spring when I do not have to fear losing my toes to the bitter cold. This winter I am leaving Sky alone much more than I ever have and I am trying not to let my anxiety that she will turn into a bucking bronco over the winter get the better of me. Last winter I insisted on getting on her at least once a month, and despite my silliness, she was more mature and grown up in the spring for having been left alone.

So this winter I am concentrating on losing some of my extra weight (down 13.1 pounds since November!) and getting my affairs in order so that when Spring hits, I can tackle all my lofty horse ambitions! Hopefully I will have a 'real' job by then with the real pay to go with it so I can afford all those dreams!

Anyway, it was a sad day this weekend at the barn when Lisa found the new black pony, Maddie, had colicked overnight beyond help and had to be put down. The vet told her that Maddie was about 25, and at the end of a long life. I can only be grateful that Lisa saved that horse from an end unworthy of the service I am sure she gave to some lucky children. I know that Lisa did her best to make her comfortable and honor her last day.

On a brighter note, we are getting ready to have our first barn pot luck as there are SO many of us boarders at "my farm" now. I cannot even keep them straight in my mind and can't wait to get to know them all better - and better yet, plan rides and camping trips and showing excursions and parades (just kidding about the last one!).... but seriously, maybe I can drag my dear Lisa to camp with the horses one time!

Ok. I am off to bed... another long winter night with only dreams of my horse.... But I have no complaints, people... I am a lucky girl. I have love and I have a job to go to tomorrow and I have an ice cream bar to look forward to (hey, I'm dieting, cut me some slack!)... Seriously, I have so much to be thankful for and I am grateful for each breath I take...

Good night.. sweet dreams... tomorrow be grateful for your horse. Stick your nose into his or her fuzzy neck and honor the service they give you!

Love you all - so very much.

C

PONIES!

So, hello people! It's winter, but it's a plethera of activity at the barn and nothing can make me want the snow to melt more!

First, Lisa has decided to foster two ponies (PONIES) through NEER in response to a group that has been trying to save horses out of an auction killpen every week. So, the two horses who are safe and sound in her stalls were picked out of a group that would have been sent to slaughter...amazingly enough the two she got are sweeties! One is a Halflinger (now named Jersey) who is about as wide as she is tall and has a back that you could eat dinner off of! I can't wait to get up on her - she looks like an absolute blast! Lisa wants to try using her for games this year - fun! The second one is a black pony (Maddie) who is small enough to hook your arm around, but stocky enough for bigger kids. She has the possiblity to be leased by a young woman who is coming to the barn.

Speaking of people coming to the barn - holy crap, when it rains it pours. Not only do we have Jordon - our only poor gelding whose owner's name I cannot recall- but we have a lady named Dawn who has two horses coming - one that's hers and one that's her daughters. Then there is Kelly, who has a big Appy mare named Abby. (Ha ha - Abby the Appy). There are 2 more and I am so bad that I don't remember their names... luckily Lisa put together a pot luck dinner so we can all get to know each other.

My only hope is that we all get along and that we manage to actually ride togther as the spring comes.

Other than that, there is not much going on - it's quiet and that's how I like it. I am working and coming home and spending time with my new fiance and my friends. It's a good life and I am blessed and happy.

On a side note, we've been doing Weight Watchers and I am down 11.5 pounds total so far... so excited! At least Sky will be appreciative this summer!

Love you all,

C

Can you burst open from happiness?

Hi All -

I am, obviously from this post's title, doing well. Honestly, I cannot remember having ever been THIS full of joy and hope for the future - THIS excited to live every day - THIS happy for every moment, big or small... I literally have a cheek ache from smiling on a daily basis and think I may burst open at the seams simply form being so happy.

OK...I know.. I sound like a nut-job that should be put in a padded cell - or maybe you are thinking, where can I get the drugs this girl is taking?

All I know is that life is full of changes and turns in the road... a few short months ago I was wondering why it was taking me down such a sad path and as much as I had hope for the future that the road would wind back toward HappyTown, the idea that the highway of my life would, around a short bend, climb and twist and turn into one of those fun drives where you blare the radio and roll down the windows and breathe in the smells of fresh cut grass and sunshine...all the while feeling like a rock star... well, that idea was just beyond my comprehension.

Rather than detail for you the timeline of the events of the past few months, which most of you know, I can only say that I am truly blessed. I have been blessed with friends who are there to pull you through and can tell when you are in desperate need of a good time. I have been blessed with family who understand who you are and accept that you will change. I have been so, so, blessed with more love than I could possibly deserve...someone who is honest and ernest and kind..someone who has the kind of consideration for others and deep sense of caring that I can only admire...someone whose presence I cannot get enough of - and I am SO Blessed that this person loves ME and feels all these things for ME and (GASP) want to marry ME!

What!? Seriously?! Seriously. I am engaged! Engaged! We are thinking a warm month, sometime in 2011 but it's not about one day - it's about a lifetime of adventures and triumphs..it's about spending my life in a true partnership with someone who wants the same things and is willing to work hard for that life.

So, even though it's winter I am looking forward to all things Spring - a new beginning.

Sky is safe and happy and fuzzy and I have thoughts about riding English as well as doing cow work this summer.

Lots of love to you all! Take care of yourselves... and perhaps a bit of advice from somone who knows...you NEVER know what is around the bend.

C

December

Hello All.

Life is once again covered in a blanket of snow, and the world is colder and headed again for a long hibernation. I'd say quiet but that is the exact opposite of life at the moment! All I wish for for Christmas is a little peace and quiet.

I love Christmas. I do. I love trees with white lights and driving around to look at houses, hot chocolate in hand. I love Christmas songs and ornaments and warm nights with family full of laughter. What I don't like about Christmas is the endless shopping with money I don't have, fighting crowds of people doing the same. I don't like festering over who gets cards and who gets presents and who gets homemade cookies I only wish I had time to bake. It's the gifts that make me wish Christmas would just be over with... and don't get me started on gift cards...the stupid idea of gift cards! If you are going to give me $20 and I am going to give you $20, couldn't we have just kept our money and said Happy Holidays.

Anyway, it's that time of year again, like it or not and after this and New Years' it's just an endless winter which I will be bitching about not being able to ride in. Hopefully I will be keeping too busy to really think about that. My "job" which I can't really call al real job because it's not going to be permanaent for a while (if at all - they are keeping me on temp status for an indefinate amount of time) is keeping me busy. I like the work, it's a good mix of everyday tasks and larger projects that pop up. The mix of people in the building is interesting enough to make the days go by fast and I am finding myself hoping more and more that one day they keep me for real....like Little Orphan Annie.

There are also plans this winter to re-introduce me to the wonderful world of snomobiling! HA! I used to go with my old trainer, down in Winchester, when I lived Keene during the winters there when riding wasn't a real option. I rode on the back of hers, going on short trips and once riding all the way to Keene for lunch. I liked it then. Of course I had a lot of equipment to borrow to keep me warm and an experienced driver to take the helm.

This winter my boyfriend, Dave, and Lisa's husband and good friend, Josh, are excited to get me out when they go. There are three sleds here..one that belongs to Lisa which gets used much more by the array of friends who come to ride with the boys. This winter the sled has been promised to me for first dibs and hopefully I will love it and not kill myself! Ha... I doubt either one of them will let me do that.. well, not the first few times out anyway.

So, we are waiting for snow and waiting for winter to work it's way through our lives once again. Sky is beautiful per usual... fuzzy like a wild Indian pony on the plains... I love how she fuzzes up and looks so sweet and innocent in the winter. I love letting her out to just be a horse for while, with no worries of shows and trails and trailer rides. She is enjoying a new friendship with a gelding boarder who has arrived by the name of Jordon and he and her are the lowest of the herd.

We had some friends over for dinner the other night and Avery, their older son, had a blast feeding the horses apples and carrots, trying to determine in his five-year-old mind which one was the biggest. It was so incredibly sweet and I was so proud of them all... glad that these, my only of my older friends to have made an effort to stay in touch, were there to be a part of my new life. It meant so much to me and it still does. I missed the 'ol Christmas party with that group of friends... partly b/c I had a tupperware event scheduled for that day and partly b/c I wasn't sure that it was the right place for me to be. I love all the children and my old friends, that I had with Karl, aren't bad people, they just had a way as a group of never letting me in.

I cannot exactly describe how I am doing. I feel at home in my skin, and at peace with exactly who I am. I know that I am accepted and I have stopped really looking for approval (except from my parents, who I never will). I am trying to live life to the fullest every day. My uncle passed away recently - suddenly - and it showed me that you never have any idea what will happen next and you should take each day as a blessing.

Merry Christmas everyone. I love you.

C

I admit, I am awful!

Hey all.

Sorry - AGAIN... Yes, I have been super busy and I guess that is a good thing 'cause otherwise I might go crazy.

First, some housekeeping news... I got a job! Not a permanent one, mind you, but a temporary one which will do for now. Cross your fingers, people... they are keeping me through December and it's possible it could turn into a real job, which would be the answer to my prayers and a way to finally get my life back in order completely.... Secondly, things with the new person in my life are also going really well (for those of you who are asking)... I haven't been this happy in a really long time and I am choosing to enjoy it!

So, now that you know what is new with me, I have an adventure to tell you about. Lisa and I have been talking lately about doing a "trash the dress" session with her photographer... so finally we managed to pin him down and he nicely agreed to meet us at SUNRISE at the beach so that we could have the opportunity to capture ourselves running down the beach - our once prized gowns flowing behind us like runaway brides!

We decided (wisely) that it would be a good idea to go the day before to not only scope out the best place for photos, but to get our horses used to the ocean! SO, we truck down there one Saturday and, once crusing the Hampton Beach strip, wonder where the hell we should park where we wouldn't be leading our horses down stone steps to the beach! .... AH, illegal parking on a dead end side street - awesome! The funniest part about that is that we really had to pee when we got there and I chose to find a spot between two cozy summer rentals - relax, people, they were empty!

So, Sky was super alert getting off the trailer and was seriously interested (and by interested I mean - HOLY CRAP THAT"S THE OCEAN!!!).... Yeah... she had her eyes and ears on that big, noisy, body of water for a while!

We walked the horses down the beach and tried our best to get them accustomed to the idea that the ocean was _gasp_ RIGHT THERE!

SO, we hopped on and headed down the beach, doing our best to ride out the spooks every time the waves crept up the beach.... Lisa worked very hard to get Onyx to stand in the water which resulted in, of course Onyx standing in the water, and Lisa getting a bootful of ocean and sand to take home!

A good ride under our belt (double hours for APHA as Hampton is a park!) we headed home to prep years' old dresses (which, FYI, didn't quite fit right anymore!) and get some sleep before we had to get up at 330 AM and go right back to the beach.

Let me tell you - 330 came early! Coffee in hand, we packed up our confused ponies and trucked out again. Dan, the crazy photographer who agreed to this, was already there proclaiming he hadn't slept!

Ok. For those of you who have not had the experience of hoisting yourself up onto a thousand pound animal, who is extrodinarily worried about the ginormous body of water to her left, while wearing a very heavy gown - let me tell you, it's an interesting event. Lisa chose to climb up on a nearby picnic table and mount from there, but me, I hopped up from the ground. Geeze, I love my horse! She moved a little but took it well... for the most part! I was actually most impressed by her acceptance of the train of white fabric draped over her butt!

We spent about two + hours doing different poses and set-ups, running in the surf, down the beach, and all around. We got amazing photos - well, at least from the few I've seen so far... can't wait to show you all the rest when we get them!

So, this might be a weird idea. I know, for one, my mother nearly fell over from the thought of my soiling my precious dress! But honestly, where else am I really going to wear it again? And could I have sold it, sure, but it's MY wedding dress - I am the one who fell in love with it and starved myself to fit into it and suffered the rash it caused from all the dancing at our reception. I am the one who put it on in my apartment all alone just for shits and giggles when Karl was in Korea.... and I'm the one who has to let go of it and embrace the idea that it's only a dress and it does not hold any powers to tell me exactly why my marriage didn't last or make things turn our happily ever after....

It's just a dress - just a pile of fabric that is beautiful and glorious and made for me and I got to wear it one more time and it was great. In it I felt free and alive and like it belonged only to me... It made beautiful photos and it was a great time.

Since I have not ridden. Poor me. Sky is fine. She still has her shoes from before East Corinth, and we'll pull them off soon. She is fuzzy and happy and dirty out in the pasture. I am proud of her and will ride her at least a few more times before the snow flies. This winter I am looking forward to riding snowmobiles with my new love and working hard at my new job (pray, people, pray!!!)

Ok. I miss you all - I love you all - that's all that's been going on. Keep in touch, people.

C

East Corinth, 2009!!!!!!!

So, once again I am a bad blogger...bloggers are supposed to be updating constantly and eagerly rushing from their life experiences to document them, because otherwise it wouldn't seem like it happened... Fortunately for me, I am too busy living life to be writing about it and I would think that all of you out there reading would appreciate that about me.

I am way, way, behind and I am not sure where I left off so I will start at the last place I can remember... I had been super excited to get ready to go to East Corinth - to Mr. John Buik's land for the annual Fall Foliage Trail Ride... In preperation, Lisa offered to drop her trailer for me for the week so I could camp with a little more luxury than years' past... So, I spent the day before I left cleaning out her dressing room, vacuuming and cleaning out old items.... setting up my den for the week!

Our jouney there wasn't as smooth as one could have hoped. First, it was raining which was bad enough but Lisa's truck was having "issues" with the windshield wipers working, so the highway became tretcherous... The good news was that if you are going to have car trouble it doesn't hurt to be having it while driving through one's hometown when one's mechanic of a dad happens to be at his friend's garage! So, we stopped in and my dear old dad spent about an hour doing some jimmy-rigging to get them to work. We were back on our way, albeit losing daylight, but when it started to rain again we were grateful.

We made it into camp as the last of dusk was disappearing and lucky for us the clould had cleared and there was a full moon shining. Lisa helped me set up an enclosure for Sky - right infront of the the two apples trees which mark my "spot" each year. As I finished getting myself settled enough to curl into my sleeping bag with a horse book, thinking about how blessed I was to be there and how lovely it was to be alone with the moon, I turned the corner of the back of the trailer to see Karl there. Whoa.... While he explained about how he knew I would be alone and how he had come as a friend to keep me company all I could think of was my ruined night of solitude and how innapropriate it was for my soon-to-be ex husband to show up on my one week away from my day to day life. But he was there and I couldn't stand to hurt his feelings by getting angry and after all, he brought a grill and burgers... So, I allowed him to stay and we hung out for an hour or two and then he left with a promise that he wouldn't come back despite wanting to on Saturday for the parade.

The next day I waited for Beth and Marcia to arrive, I mosied around camp looking for people I knew... I bumped into Cathy and Leon and was invited to ride with them and I took them up on it because it was pushing eleven and there was no sign of my camp-mates... Sure enough they pulled in as our group was heading down the road! Oh well.... We went on about a three-hour ride, most of which Sky was wound like a two-dollar pistol - having jumped down a driveway after a Mack Truck blew it's air brakes at us and trying to jig me down the trails! She settled down after about two and a half hours, figuring out it was much easier to just walk than fight to get "somewhere" faster.

By the time we pulled into camp, she was much calmer and we came into the backside of the field only to see Bet's four-year-old Canadian having a grand old time in the other field, bucking and running like a wild animal! Poor Beth has the hardest time keeping this filly inside her fencing and despite having bought her a solid aluminum system Rhea was out again and having and introducing herself to the camp!

I greeted my good friends and gave Sky a short break before we headed out with them for a ride (hey, I figured if Sky had that much get-up-and-go to act up, she could go again). We went across the road, up a few hills, and for a two-hour ride.

The rest of the week was wonderful. It did rain on us a little bit on the trail on Thursday but we were almost back and it wasn't as awful as it could have been. Sky was well settled after her first day and although she did a little "must catch up to the group" on me, she was for the most part exceptionally well behaved.

Friday we had an amazing ride, up to Wright's Mountain and over to Tucker Mountain, basking in the sunshine that had eluded everyone all week long. I got some great photos that day and after a five and a half hour ride, was happy to be sitting in my camp chair that night with a cold hard cider and the laughter of my once-a-year friends around me!

Saturday brought nothing but rain and even though it was supposed to be the day for the big ride and the parade I think we were all a little glad to be off the horses for a respite. Sky and hte others were warm and dry under turnout blankets and Frank had come for the day to visit. (His wife had sugery recently so he didn't ride all week) We went to town where I FINALLY got to check my voicemails and texts and was so very happy to have lots from everyone wishing me a good week and telling me they missed me.

We got back into camp and found Karl sitting with Marcia, who had stayed behind. Damn it. Anyway, he didn't stay long but I was pretty upset he had broken his promise to me that he wouldn't come back.

By the time Sunday came I was ready to head home but the week had been amazing. I promise to put photos in here soon, as I do have them.

Now I am home and Sky is good. Betsy and I have ridden some and I am dreading cold weather although I am looking forward to getting out on the snowmobiles this year.

I got a new job - a temporary one - that starts on Monday. I am nervous and unsure and only hoping that bigger and better things are behind this opportunity for me. I have a lot of options running through my brain and a lot of hope that what is meant to be will happen. I am still sad, as Karl and I managed to actually file for divorce but that is more because it is the end of an era than anything else.

Talk to you later, blog readers.

C

The best of times, the worst of times...

Hello all...so sorry - I am a bad, bad, blogger! I have no excuse except to say that my days are filled with taking care of Mr. Braeden Parker Perrault and he needs a lot of attention!!! I have to say I am enjoying it, though... I wish it was possible for me to do this long term, but unemployment does not last forever and someday soon I feel that something new will come along. I am toying with the idea of attempting to go to grad school to be a school counselor, although I am not sure if I'll get enough financial aide to make that happen - but like everything else in life, it's worth a try!

Things have been hectic, to say the least. I am struggling to find a middle ground with Karl where we can agree on how to move forward and remain friends... it's an emotionally draining process but I am doing the best I know how.

Sky is doing really well! I am happy to report that she got her front shoes replaced recently and actually had to be truly trimmed! Bethany says that whatever I've been doing, I should keep up and that her feet are looking really good.

I am getting so excited to go to East Corinth! I cannot believe it is that time of year again...it's so scary... this year has been so full of changes and even though it will not be the same this year as some people aren't going and Beth and Marcia aren't going until Wednesday....East Corinth is an amazing thing b/c it's so familiar... I cannot wait to see the church steeple over the rolling hills and ride through the same fields we did last year and the year before - watching the views and enjoying the company...

I am lucky this year as Lisa is lending her trailer to me! She's going to bring me up on Tuesday night and drop the trailer so I can camp out of there and have a "home base" of my very own!! I am super excited...

Betsy is coming but not until Friday, but that's ok. The saddest thing I can think of is that Harvey will not be there. Betsy thought he had pnemonia and got the vet out and put him on antibiodics but he passed away a few days later... I cannot even express how sad it makes me to think of how Harvey will not be Sky's companion in the trailer any longer, or get us through any more hard parts of the trail.... Harvey was Sky's friend, I know in my heart, and I think she is missing him too. I cannot imagine losing my good friend - the one who is always there to greet me and get me through all my hard times.... I know Betsy misses Harvey immensely and it will take a long time for that sting to go away.

Lisa, of course, stepped right in and lent Betsy Shilo right away... I think it was a good thing b/c Betsy was able to keep riding, which eases any pain. Shilo and her are a good fit, because Shilo needs attention and riding and Betsy needs a horse to care for! I cannot wait to seee him in VT - I'm sure he'll be wonderful.

So, I am plugging away... once again going to VT will be an end and a beginning. When I get back I vow to work harder at job hunting and get my school act in gear. I am happy for the meantime staying wtih Josh and Lisa, who are wonderful, but it will not be forever and I need to lay some foundation for the future I had no idea was before me.... it's always a day at a time and like always, I am taking baby steps to get through them!

I promise photos from EC (I've lost the cord!!!). Lots of love to you all!

C

what's happening lately

Hello all.

So, I have a lot to say and a little time to say it, so I am going to be consise, if I can.

First, the camping trip... oh my well-planned, deeply thought out, camping trip. Ashleigh, Amanda, Betsy and I were so excited to go and despite some bad weather reports, we went forward, gung-ho to have a good time. The drive up was super long but the weather was decent for that, so it wasn't so bad. I was so anxious to get up there and get a good ride in before the inevitable rain was to arrive.

We finally pulled into the state park, after honestly thinking that we were on the wrong track, in the middle of nowhwere, VT. The horse camping sites were situated on a small "field" which reminded us more of a lawn...with small sites dotting the edge. The areas for the horses were rather tiny but we figured it would be ok. There was not a soul around, so we felt like we had the whole place to ourselves, which was nice. We managed to get everything set and get saddled in time for a ride. We headed one way, down a dirt road which reminded me of a class six road. When we saw a trail sign, I asked if anyone wanted to check it out. Once on that trail, I did realize that it was truly, a hiking trail - narrow and rocky... but it was passable. I figured we would come out on another dirt road or loop around to where we came from...

I am not going to go into extreme detail on this trail - only to say that here's a bit of advice: when you go through the second or third really bad rocky spot on a trail then it's time to turn around! I have never been so scared on a trail that my horse would break a leg and that I might go flying as well! Needless to say, we are safe and alive, and I thank god for that.

Friday night we had a great dinner, courtsey of Amanda, and settled into our tents. I didn't sleep that well, not because I wasn't warm or comfortable, but because the rain was coming down so hard and I was so concerned about the tent leaking! So, I slept a bit, but woke up early to the middle of the tent dripping a little bit. It turned out that was nothing compared to the night Ashleigh and Amanda had! The poor girls had a leaky tent all night and their horses paced and they got their sleeping bags wet. After a little discussion, we decided to pack it in, although Betsy and I were willing to stay longer.

Sunday Betsy and I forced ourselves back into the truck and dragged our poor horses another hour to Marsh Billings... it was SOOO WORTH IT. It was a beautiful day and I love Marsh Billings more than any other place we ride. We traveled around for a full three and a half hours and although my butt was done, my heart could've gone more! It made up for the bad day before and it was great.

Since then I rode last night - with Dave which was super fun. I was so glad he was willing to go and do what I like. He seemed to have fun, so that was good.

On another note, life is settling down and getting crazy. I am now watching Braeden for Lisa while she and Josh are both back to work. The good part is that I am contributing to the household and providing some use of myself while I am staying with them. The bad part is it is keeping me from looking for another job as hard as I should. I am thinking seriously about going to grad school starting in January, but I also need time to figure that out. I am trying very hard to keep my eye on the future, but the present is taking so much of my energy it is rough. I am taking life day by day as of now.. happy moments and angry moments, frustrating times and times when it "seems" like all will be ok. I do not really know what the future holds, and I am concerned about it, but right now it takes all my energy to get through each day with the same conviction that I woke up with...I am surprised that I am remaining strong but I can finally see the forest through the trees... I can finally see now that I am going to be alright. I don't know how and I don't know when but I am pretty sure it's going to happen.

C

A Comprehensive Guide on How to Ride in an ATV Park

So, my dear loyal readers... we had an interesting ride this weekend!

I find it so funny how we talk and talk about places to ride at our Blackwater metings about where to ride and how we want to ride at new places all the time, and when someone finds one, we never really go for one reason or another.... So we'd been talking about checking out Clough State Park and the adjoining Hillsboro Everett Dam (that's a Army Core of Engineers place).... Low and Behold the ride on Sunday was cancelled as we all knew it would be so Betsy and Amanda and Ashleigh and I decided it would be a good idea to go to this new place.

Betsy invited Hannah and asked to to tell people we were going, but Hannah thought that it would be too busy with four wheelers and and dirt bikes for the horses to handle... after all it was a nice weekend day and this place is known as one of the busiest places for motorized vehicles in the southern part of the state! So, again, the four of us were the only ones who were up for the challenge.

We met up on Sunday AM and got there without much incident... of course, Betsy did have a little run-in with the bush at the entrance to the parking area where we settled, and I have to say that I am grateful that it was on Harvey's side! Poor Harvey, we opened the doors and he had his back legs planted like he was prepped for another big bump!

So, we listened intently as we saddled up for the sounds of the dirt bikes that were across the road... wondering if we were brave or just plain stupid... we tried our best as we headed out to go the "other" way from the machines... heading up into the woods behind where we had parked. So, RULE #1 for riding in a ATV park... try to ride away from the machines.....

Although these trails were great footing, it turned out there wasn't far to go.. we managed to go through a neat sand pit and follow out to some power-line looking areas... but the trail dead-ended somewhere between the swamp it ran along and an occupied tent site that we stumbled upon... but on our way back, I have to say that I managed to one, get Sky to stop eating, and two, groom the upper part of the trail of branches that were smacking us all in the face! RULE #2 of riding in an ATV park... you have to groom your own trails considering that no one else is riding as high as you are.

By this time we realized that the only place for us to go was through the main parking lot and by ALL of the trailers loaded with rough and tumble guys mounting up on their iron horses... I have to say that we got some pretty dirty looks, mixed in with the expressions of sheer bewilderment.... After the walk of shame, all was not so bad as we stuck to the roads that the machines were not allowed on! We peered into each trail we passed and wondered if we would be bombarded by a flying four-wheeled crazy person at any moment!

We wound up taking a trail which claimed to be a "River Loop" although I never saw a loop or a river. This trail was accessable to the machines, so we were on alert. Although, our biggest challenge turned out to be the the myraid of bridges which crossed the trail! Despite being sturdy, each bridge presented a challenge whether it was slats which the horses could see through or a broken board. RULE #3 to riding in an ATV park... be prepared for a bridge or five!

The first time we encountered machines, there were about four ATV's that came up behind us... luckily it was when we had just crossed one of the forementioned bridges and could get off the trail adequately..... plus it was a tight spot so they couldn't exactly go fast. To our shock and amazement, they were actually very nice and seemed to try to be overly cautious not to spook the horses. After that we relaxed a bit that these people were not assholes who were out to get us killed but mostly families with kids and responsible young people. It made it a lot easier to enjoy the trails... RULE #4 to riding in an ATV park.... don't assume everyone is out to get you and when you are nice to them, they are nice to you!

We even managed to get a lot of trotting in... although Sky was so wound up at the idea of stretching her legs, that she managed to lope in between our trotting companions. She was too funny, doing her little loping snort and rounding her body up and tucking her head in as she darted in between the trees and around the curves... on one particular staight-away which lilted to the left, she was on the right lead and I wanted her to switch so on a whim I decided to try to get her to change leads at the lope... I picked up on her reins, pushed my heel into her side near her shoulder and shifted my weight over... just a guess and low and behold, my horse did a flying change!!!!!!!!! I was so estatic, I think it was the highlight of my day! RULE #5 to riding in an ATV park... you might has well have fun and enjoy the speed while you are there!

We rode about two hours but, trust me, it seemed like more! We had to do the walk of shame again through the parking lot, and were surprised this time to be greeted by the Hooters Dirt Bike Team!

Anyway, it was a good adventure and good practice.

C

Big Changes for the Better & One Wild Ride.

So, after A LOT of heartache, and thinking and pain... I have decided that the best thing for me is to seperate from my husband, Karl. This wasn't something that I came to overnight or even over a month... I haven't been happy with the way that our relationship has been for a long time and I always thought I could change it if I tried hard enough - if I was nice enough and cooked enough meals and did dishes without complaining than he would be the guy who cared what I was doing when I was gone and he would be the guy who would want to hold my hand when we sat around with friends... but he will never be that guy and I cannot change him. Karl and I have been through A LOT together - we've known each other the better side of thirteen years and we've been together on and off for the majority of that.... we've been married for five and half years now and we've had some very happy times.... but somehow that didn't add up to a happy life together.... We tend to fight more than we talk to each other... I have felt for a very long time that he has no interest in anything that I do, whether it's which job I take or which show I go to... He has been very depressed about the way his life has turned out but yet has not changed anything about it... and he has hurt me a lot by having secret accounts and emailing girls to get together... random girls in our town! I tried very hard to get over this... I tried very hard to look beyond it that he DOES love me, which I know he does... but I have decided in the ned that I simply cannot live a happy life with Karl... as much as I want it to be better, even our relationship being better isn't going to make me happy. I feel awful because I know I have hurt him by telling him these things and he still thinks that it can be fixed but, for me, it can't. I hate that I am hurting someone who I love more than anyone but I know in my heart that after this is all over and the dust has settled, that he will be happier too.

So, I have spent the last couple of weeks deciding how life will go... I am going to stay with Josh and Lisa and take care of their baby when Lisa goes back to work. I am taking a coaching job and hope to substitute teach on the one day a week that I am not needed to babysit. In the meantime, I'll continue to draw my unemployment and work for Lisa's dad, and look for something more permanent and well-paying. I am hoping that by the time Spring rolls around, I will be able to move into my own place or roomate with someone. My friend, Kate, in Manchester offered to have me room with her and I think that might be a great idea.

I have been spending time with friends this past week or two and I cannot belive how happy I can be. We've been going to Lisa's dad's house, which is on a beautiful small lake, and we've been driving jetskis and going out on a boat and tubing behind it! I have tried things this week that I never would have tried before... I just feel like I've been walking around with my jaw clenched, not realizing I was doing it, and now that I have relaxed, I am free.

Sky is doing so well. She is hilarious, per usual. Lisa had her two cousins come up for the week and the younger one wanted to ride... so early one morning before it got too hot we went out... I hopped on Sky and per Lisa's reccomendation but Cody on Shiloh. We hadn't even gotten off the road when Shiloh took Cody into the trees to eat and then when he tried to turn him around, wound up in the middle of the road. Imagine my horror when I saw the giant dump truck coming at us and this 16 year old kid in the middle of the road, unable to control the horse! So I screamed for him to get off and lead him out of the road and I got off too.... thank God the guy went as slow as he could! So, we walk them down to where we can safely get on and I trade horses... Sky looked as though she understood what was going on... Although she probably didn't understand what Cody was asking of her the majority of the time, with his reins messed up and his not exactly sitting on his BUTT, but she tried... she tucked her face and backed up, wondering what this kid wanted! As I got Shiloh ready to pay attention, Sky followed behind and knew to take care of this kid. I spent the majority of the rest of the ride turned around to make sure my baby was doing ok! She did great - Cody let her eat way way more than I would have, but that's ok - as long as she was good.

On the way back, we passed more BIG trucks and Sky took it all in stride. She was so great and I was so proud of her, I didn't even know what to say.... I guess it's one thing when she does well for me because I have been with her so long and we know each other so well, but for her to behave so great with a complete stranger and one who didn't know what he was doing, I was so grateful.... and proud!

So, now we are gearing up to go to New Discovery at the end of the month, fast approaching! I am very excited for that and for East Corinth, which will be here before you know it!

Thanks for all the kind words and support, friends... you are all good people!

C

follow your gut

Hey,

Have you ever had that feeling in the pit of your stomache that something is or isn't right for you? ...

I've had a tumultous week... it's been such a roller coaster of ups and downs that I'm not surprised that my stomache is reacting! First, Monday rolled around... another Monday of feeling like I would never work again. It was so hard to stare at the classifieds on the computer and not see anything that I could apply for... so depressing... then Tuesday rolls around and I'm riding with Betsy and my phone rings. It's a gruff old man from a restaurant that I'd applied for ions ago wanting me to come in that day for an interview. YEAH! At that point, I"m thinking, yes, it's waitressing, but it's something and I'd be so excited just to do something.

So, I go in and have a very weird interview (if you can call it that) and they want me to come in the next day to start training. Ok. Wednesday rolls around and I go in and follow some 45 year old career server around as she swears and grabs butts of other servers and forgets to put in orders and blames it on the kitchen... but that wasn't the worst part. The worst part was that there wasn't a handwashing sink to be found in the place.. cooks weren't wearing gloves...soup sat on a bar for five hours without ever being tempted... (I couldn't bear to see how it was stored at the end of the night!).... in a normal circumstance I wouldn't have thought badly of it, but I have a ServSafe Food Management Safety Certification and I managed a banquet facility that had monthly military health inspections so I am pretty up to speed on how things SHOULD be.

Wednesday night I got a call to go into an interview for a teacher's aide job at interlakes high school... big yeah there! I already had an interview for a coaching job there on Monday so I set that up for right after... I am really hoping that works out so keep your fingers crossed for me... especially since Friday morning I went to go back in for day two of torture at this restaurant and after an hour of searching for my black shoes I found myself sitting on the closet floor unable to bring myself to go back there. Karl let me off the hook more easily than I deserved but I just couldn't do it.

Maybe I'm a bad person for complaining one day about not having a job and then turning one down the next day. Maybe I'm following the right path for me and next week I'll have a much better opportunity and I'll be glad I didn't go back there. Whatever the case, I followed my gut on that one.

On the Sky front, things are good. I am really enjoying her shoes and I think she might be too. We are doing much better on the roads etc. and I think I'll be grateful for them more and more as we go along... I am (gasp) foregoing a show this weekend to ride at the Mix's house for a blackwater ride. We have a hunter pace planned for next weekend and at the end of the month we are going camping in VT as a group - my first ride hosting for Blackwater.

I am looking forward to East Corinth a lot - got my invitation a few weeks ago.

Anyway, that's what is going on with me. Hope and Pray for me that the interveiws go well and I might have a job by the end of next week.

C

A little ditty...

Hello All -

I don't have a lot of time so I have to make this short (somehow I've said that before...) Anyway, this week has been a frustrating one for those of us who want to ride.. It's about 90 degrees and the humidity makes you wet with sweat the second you walk out the door... if it's not hot, it's raining, and then the bugs are so awful you must trot to get through the woods these days.

So, it hasn't been a good riding week. It is unfortunate b/c Sky has new shoes this week and I am anxious to try them out.. we broke down on the shoes (fronts only b/c it's so freaking expensive!!!) for two reasons... 1 - so she can stop getting all those bruises and walk comfortably on the dirt roads and 2 - to give her some time to actually grow some foot.

She was shockingly good for Bethany about the nailing.. barely blinked. I was surprised b/c she's never had shoes and I insisted that she would throw a fit... but just like Sky, she took it in stride and trusted those around her... I love her so.

I'm off to a Blackwater meeting in a bit - have to feed early in order to go... oh, I'm sitting out here at Lisa's.. dogsitting, catsitting, fishsitting, horsesitting, house and barn sitting... ha! Seriously it's been fun and quiet - for the most part. There is a nameless boarder who is driving me absolutely batty, though. She is an older lady and has some medical problems that keep her from being entirely mobile, but I do not take that as an excuse to be mean to people... all week she's stopped into the barn and isn't happy if her horse is out or if she's in... wants to continually feed her hay that she doesn't eat and insists that something is 'amiss' at the barn b/c there are "leg problems"... GRRR - as if it's LISA's fault that Onyx has a broken foot or whatever or that Willow's leg blows up and that she will never be entirely normal again.. that Sky got a random abcess...that her horse rammed herself into the roundpen.... yeah - that sounds like a conspericy to me! I am not one who hides my feelings well and if you want to know what I think just have a look at my face.. I stayed quiet, though. This person went as far as to yell at me in the barn for trying to help her the other day and that was it for me! I've been leaving when I know she'll come or hide in the house when she's here... the woman just chaps my ass!

And this is my thought about that. Horses are livestock - they are an animal whose history has been to serve man. They hold a true and honest place in American history and are a noble animal who carries pride with value and purpose... If a person wants a lawn ornament so badly, I personally think they should leave horses alone, and certainly NEVER BREED MORE HORSES, and then go buy a freaking plastic flamingo!

Anyway, I am going to get ready to go to my Blackwater meeting where we'll all talk over each other, complain about bugs and weather, plan rides that will get cancelled, and then I'll get home late. Fun Fun.. At least I made whoopie pies this time!

Good Night.

C

One good ride after another...

Hi All -

As I could only hope, I have not written lately b/c I've been busy riding!

After the show last weekend, I decided immediately that I was going to hang up the show shirt for a while and concentrate on doing some casual, easy, stress-free trail rides!

Luckily right after that choice, an opportunity came up for my go with Hannah on a ride... we voted on going to Maudslay state park in MA... I tried to look up information about it but could only come up with a small website without a lot of information - so I was going blind...but very excited to go in a state park as I can log double hours for my Ride America, and I am closing in on my 500 hour mark.

So I make sure I am all packed and ready and Hannah was right on time. Sky self-loaded perfectly into her two horse step up and got along charmingly with Jim, her Appy/TB cross...

We made it down there to meet up with Denise (with Dublin, the huge, red horse) and Cathy (who I hadn't met before)... Sky was super alert when we first got them off the trailer which was odd for her - not acting badly, just head up and ears and eyes straining to find anything she could possibly be scared of... so a little Clinton Anderson-esk lunging before hand with many changes of direction got her focused on the fact that I was still a part of her world... then we were ready to ride.

She did great on the trails - slightly ouchy on the dirt road at the beginning - but otherwise perfect. We crossed beautiful stone bridges, and rode beside blooming flower bushes, and rode along a river with lovely white boats floating here and there... it was a perfect day - no bugs and a slight breeze and lots of blue sky...

We made a two and half hour trek, miadering through the park - a place no one could get lost... after the ride, we hung out and chatted and found ourselves lazy and happy under a big tree while we watched the horses take afternoon naps while tied to the trailers..

Hannah and I chatted non-stop on the way home and I was so happy to get to know her better... it was kind of her to bring me along.

Then we had a blackwater ride on Sunday, which Betsy picked us up for... Inever stop laughing at Sky when she does her speed-walking trek from the barn onto Betsy's trailer! I swear, I could let her out of her stall and she'd head straight on next to Harvey... I'm not sure if it's Harvey or his hay that she likes more - despite the large haybag full infront of her, she insists on pushing poor Harvey over to steal his! It's funny considering she doesn't push ANYONE around.

We rode at Profile Falls - another perfect day and perfect ride... down the long, straight carraige road and wandered off onto wooded trails and open fields (which haven't been mowed and are like an all you can eat buffet to the horses, at mouth height!!!) We saw lots of wild brown eyed susans and took lots of photos --- including photos of others taking photos! It was funny!

The best was as we were riding back to the trailers on the long road, Sky decided more than once to turn her butt around and go the other way! I'm not sure if her homing device was broken or if she was just up for a longer ride, but she had no qualms about hoofing it away from the whole crew of horses and foraging her own path... i nearly cried I laughed so hard at her!

We had a good lunch back at the trailers... at the picnic tables by the river... the Mix's, Betsy and I are way ahead of the group in planning an overnight excursion at the end of the month.... I'm fired up for some more good rides and am glad to be taking a break from the constant worries about slow canters and correct headsets... although we did get a great lope behind a trotting Kosh and Hannah in a long stretch by the river... funny how that happens!

It looks like I will be putting shoes - fronts to start - on Sky by the end of the week. The farrier looked at her today and shaped her up and she has too many bruises for me to ignore any longer... if I'm going to be doing the riding I don't want to have to worry about her.

So, I will keep you posted on the goings-on. I'm watching Lisa's house next week while they are away and taking care of all the animals - then LRSS 3 isn't too far off. Hopefully Amanda and I will be doing Riverfare's know and go clinic on the 1st... Karl did tell me to include it in my b'day present....

Take care, all,

C

Experience is a good thing...

Sunday, I used up all my birthday money to go to a show - could've done a couple of other things but I liked the idea of getting some more time in the ring and I had been invited to trek down to Oak Rise with Ashleigh and Amanda, so I bit the bullet of $12 a class and went.

I was excited to be going back and doing the w/t/c classes and I mentally prepped for it to be a long day. When we got there, I started to think that the economy was picking up, considering that the place was packed! There were trailers bumper to bumper taking up the whole place! We got scrunched between "Mack Hill Riding Acadamy" and another kid-oriented barn with an array of activity...

Sky did relatively well - much better feeling than last weekend at LRSS... at least I "felt" like I wasn't about to reach moc-ten at the lope but I think that had a lot to do with the work Lisa helped me with on Saturday.... so, we get into the Eq. class and it was 7 ppl, including Ashleigh and Tom (who showed with Lisa last year) - Tom and I were the only Western-ers... I was pretty excited to get the correct leads out of Sky and only be lapping Tom... at least being with a lot of English riders I didn't feel like I was riding a race horse when everyone else had an old farm-plug! We wound up placing 4th of 7... better than I figured.. the judge told me I corrected her too much... oh well.

So I worked hard to stop messing wtih her face and slow her down with my body and in Pleasure we managed 3 of 7 - the best we did all day! Not enough for a PAC point but good, just the same. I felt badly for Ashleigh b/c she got two 6ths but I thought she did well!

Then we waited - and waited - and waited... UHGGG - By the time that we got on for Disp. Rail etc. I was baked from the beating sun and so tired I had to muster the energy just to get back on! It was three classes in a row - Adult Disp. Rail - Western Pleasure & Open Pleasure horse 15 and under... it was a rough three classes - we placed 4 of 6 - 2 of 2 and 2 of 3... Not particularly good but overall for the lateness of the day, I thought we got around pretty well. The judge was picking on us quite a bit - he kept talking about how he's a blah, blah, blah western judge and he told me to change my bit and was picky about how my reins were held... by the fourth time he picked at me, I was done.. I wanted out of that ring BAD - I appreciated the feedback, but enough already! I was happy to go home.. especially after I heard I got 4 of 6 in Trail! WHAT?! We had done great in trail and I couldn't believe 3 ppl did better than me! That is the worst I've done in trail in a long time w/o seriously messing up...

Anyway, I didn't stick around (or, really, make A&A stick around) to collect my 4th place day end that I assumed I would get... I took my experience and got out of dodge.

Once home I was SOOOO tired... I got a little sun and a lot of experience... glad to get them both but I think I am done showing for a little bit - I am highly interested in some easy trail rides and some relaxing days hanging out... today I started tying my BIG quilt together and reading a book (that is until I got the call to get hay in but that is a summer-time necessity)...

Thanks to those who helped me prepare for the show, get to the show, and survive the trama that is the show... thanks to John, who I got to see there... nice to see you and am glad you are doing well. I will be sure to let you know how things are going.

Talk to you soon, guys... I am hoping to snag a spot in Hannah's trailer on Friday for a jaunt and hopefully will go with Betsy to Profile Falls Sunday.

C

Great Expectations

So we finally got to show on Sunday. It was a perfect day - sunny (shocker of all shockers, huh?) and slightly breezy as to keep the bazillions of bugs away.

I was pretty nervous considering there hasn't been a lot of time given all the rain and the condition of Sky's feet, which are soft and saseptable to new problems and still relatively short. But I was ready to give it a go and she was pretty clean too.

Showmanship turned out to the be one of the highlights of my day - it's a wonder considering that I had fought against it for so long that I would actually enjoy it. There were 11 ppl in the class and we placed 6th under one judge, and 3rd under another. Not too bad.

By the time we were riding, I was pretty frustrated - only b/c Sky fought me at the lope all over, not being used to working so hard. She either would try to break or run a buck-ninety around the ring. The pattern was difficult - trotting a circle, then loping a circle, then changing leads and loping the other way at a lope again. After a lot of practice and frustration, we did do a great pattern - or at least one that didn't break gait or get the wrong lead - we went to rail work. On the rail I managed to get nearly all the way around the ring before realizing we were one the wrong lead! CRAP! So, there went that class - 5 of 5.

Pleasure didn't go much better considering we were circling everyone and not doing it in a very pretty manner. Lisa rode her in between classes and although she looked better for her, it didn't exactly translate over. At this point, knowing the day was shot, I tried my best to keep my chin up and do my personal best. Discipline rail was a mess - being asked to counter-canter when you are still working on the right leads to start with is rough! Then Senior Horse Pleasure came and I did manage to get a decent lope at the very end, which I was proud of, and we placed 4 of 5 under one judge - a serious victory given the way we were doing.

I have a problem. I feel fine in the warm up ring and do ok with her at home, but being in the ring with others who are experienced on experienced horses, I get physched out and compare too much. I feel like Sky is a lunatic b/c she isn't nearly as slow as the other horses and we are not as collected. This feeling makes me upset b/c I don't understand how, after all the work we've done, we do not measure up against these others. I do feel that this summer stinks b/c of all the rain and I haven't ridden NEARLY as much as I have wanted to, but I also don't think that is an excuse.

Trail was a decent experience. Adult Trail we did well - probably b/c we got one part of the course correct where others did the wrong thing and that is only b/c Lisa asked the judges... someone was a little ticked until she found out that they didn't take off for doing it the way EVERYONE did it and not the correct way. But I managed to get 1st under one judge nad 3rd under another, so that was good - it was trotting poles, sidepassing and a mailbox, lope into a box, spin, lope after the box, go to a bridge, walk over, and back. The second time we were on the incorrect lead (it was an "incorrect" one they asked for) so we placed last again. I was happy to do well in SOMETHING though!

Anyway, I suppose I have to learn to expect to do good for myself, and not good against others. I have come to expect to do well with Sky and this is a learning year, so I have to learn to back away from that. I know it should be enough to do better than last time and improve, it's just hard to do that and have it still not be enough!

I am working on that with K too... we are working on things and spending more time together... I am standing up for myself and expecting to get out what I put in. I guess that is all anyone can ask for in life.

C

PS - I might go to Oak Rise Sunday if $$$ works out.... I was offered a ride from some Blackwater folks.

Gnats, Deerflies, Rain, and Hurt Feet (and hurt feelings)

So we finally had a Blackwater ride yesterday! Yeah - after Sky being out of commission and all the rain we've had, I was very excited to go to Betsy's for a ride. That being said, I cannot wait to catch a ride in Betsy's new truck on Thursday when we go to Bear Brook.

Anyway, I wake up yesterday to drizzle... YUK! But I plan to grab my raincoat and head out anyway. This is the part in my story when my husband, Karl, gets home from work and we get into a huge fight regarding some wrongs he has done to me in the past week. I am not going to get into this in detail b/c this blog is not about my marraige, but about my time with Sky... but for those of you who know me, you probably know about this anyway... my husband did something stupid and hurtful and it's been done before and this time sorry is not enough.

Needless to say the yelling made me late getting to the barn and I had to pull Sky away from her big pile of hay to go for a ride. Considering that Sky hasn't been ridden much in the past weeks b/c of the rain and her gravel, I was excited for the ride but also a little aprehensive that she wouldn't be ok... She turned out to be a trooper on the road (per usual) and once I got to Betsy's I was doing my best to get in a better mood.

STOP! How can anyone be in a good mood with little, tiny, black bugs flying in your ears and your eyes and your nose - not to mention swarming your head in general and seemingly attempting to drag your horse away! The same bugs that keep us from doing any speed less than a trot in Lisa's yard are at home in Betsy's yard as well... I kept Sky moving to avoid being eaten alive and my bad mood continued... after all the time and efffort and waiting out of the rain we did this is what I get!

Sky did pretty well once we got going but the overgrowth of vegetation everywhere you looked was all and all too tempting for her... she lunged, open mouthed and teeth bared, at every branch, clover, grass and tree we happened to be near.. needless to say, this gets old after a while and usually I would be doing some schooling - making her work somehow once she took a bite (something Clinton Anderson calls, "letting her commit to the mistake) but in a group of trail riders and on sometimes narrow trails, I resorted to simply pulling her away from each tempting leaf.

On the rocks, Sky was obviously "ouchy" and it broke my heart again. I have come to the conclusion that the best thing for her will be to put shoes on for the rest of the summer. I just cannot stand that she is so uncomfortable.

So, these factors contribute to my mood - greatly. I am trying very hard to smile through the swarms of bugs and the hurt feelings I have and listen to the chit-chat going on ahead of me. It's hard. At one point I thought I was literally going to cry on my horse! Luckily that is when Betsy turned around and smiled at me which made me feel better that at least someone noticed I was having a rough time of it.

Anway, into the woods we go and the deerflies start in - yuk yuk yuk! Boy, do those things hurt when they bite! Especially they hurt when you are pushing your horse to step first into a mucky stream that she cannot see the bottom to - but she did it - first through water!!! I was insanely proud of her despite being attacked by deerflies while we waited for everyone to get through.

Yesterday was not my best day. I was not myself. I couldn't wait to get off my horse and that is wrong! Lately I am so sad and angry that I can barely ride at all, for fear that my temper will flair and I will take it out on Sky. But again and again she gives me another chance that this time when I take her out she will be the thing that makes me smile and make me feel better. She always is it's just that lately it doesn't last. That is scary.

I'm sorry that I cannot report a wonderful experience. It was a nice ride and I did enjoy getting out... it's just that the circumstances were not so great. I am hoping that we will get to ride enough this week that I will feel comfortable showing Sunday.... I hope that we will get to do something cool for my birthday, which is usually a non-event. Anyway, we will see.

C