Gnats, Deerflies, Rain, and Hurt Feet (and hurt feelings)

So we finally had a Blackwater ride yesterday! Yeah - after Sky being out of commission and all the rain we've had, I was very excited to go to Betsy's for a ride. That being said, I cannot wait to catch a ride in Betsy's new truck on Thursday when we go to Bear Brook.

Anyway, I wake up yesterday to drizzle... YUK! But I plan to grab my raincoat and head out anyway. This is the part in my story when my husband, Karl, gets home from work and we get into a huge fight regarding some wrongs he has done to me in the past week. I am not going to get into this in detail b/c this blog is not about my marraige, but about my time with Sky... but for those of you who know me, you probably know about this anyway... my husband did something stupid and hurtful and it's been done before and this time sorry is not enough.

Needless to say the yelling made me late getting to the barn and I had to pull Sky away from her big pile of hay to go for a ride. Considering that Sky hasn't been ridden much in the past weeks b/c of the rain and her gravel, I was excited for the ride but also a little aprehensive that she wouldn't be ok... She turned out to be a trooper on the road (per usual) and once I got to Betsy's I was doing my best to get in a better mood.

STOP! How can anyone be in a good mood with little, tiny, black bugs flying in your ears and your eyes and your nose - not to mention swarming your head in general and seemingly attempting to drag your horse away! The same bugs that keep us from doing any speed less than a trot in Lisa's yard are at home in Betsy's yard as well... I kept Sky moving to avoid being eaten alive and my bad mood continued... after all the time and efffort and waiting out of the rain we did this is what I get!

Sky did pretty well once we got going but the overgrowth of vegetation everywhere you looked was all and all too tempting for her... she lunged, open mouthed and teeth bared, at every branch, clover, grass and tree we happened to be near.. needless to say, this gets old after a while and usually I would be doing some schooling - making her work somehow once she took a bite (something Clinton Anderson calls, "letting her commit to the mistake) but in a group of trail riders and on sometimes narrow trails, I resorted to simply pulling her away from each tempting leaf.

On the rocks, Sky was obviously "ouchy" and it broke my heart again. I have come to the conclusion that the best thing for her will be to put shoes on for the rest of the summer. I just cannot stand that she is so uncomfortable.

So, these factors contribute to my mood - greatly. I am trying very hard to smile through the swarms of bugs and the hurt feelings I have and listen to the chit-chat going on ahead of me. It's hard. At one point I thought I was literally going to cry on my horse! Luckily that is when Betsy turned around and smiled at me which made me feel better that at least someone noticed I was having a rough time of it.

Anway, into the woods we go and the deerflies start in - yuk yuk yuk! Boy, do those things hurt when they bite! Especially they hurt when you are pushing your horse to step first into a mucky stream that she cannot see the bottom to - but she did it - first through water!!! I was insanely proud of her despite being attacked by deerflies while we waited for everyone to get through.

Yesterday was not my best day. I was not myself. I couldn't wait to get off my horse and that is wrong! Lately I am so sad and angry that I can barely ride at all, for fear that my temper will flair and I will take it out on Sky. But again and again she gives me another chance that this time when I take her out she will be the thing that makes me smile and make me feel better. She always is it's just that lately it doesn't last. That is scary.

I'm sorry that I cannot report a wonderful experience. It was a nice ride and I did enjoy getting out... it's just that the circumstances were not so great. I am hoping that we will get to ride enough this week that I will feel comfortable showing Sunday.... I hope that we will get to do something cool for my birthday, which is usually a non-event. Anyway, we will see.

C

Reasons that Sky and I need to go play with cows...

1. Chasing anything away makes one feel powerful. I could use a little power right about now.
2. Cows remind me of New Mexico and Josh Armstrong's place. I miss 'ol El Paso sometimes.
3. Sky needs a change of pace - something to perk her ears up at.
4. Someday, I might have to chase down a loose cow and I want to make sure I'm ready.
5. It's a great excuse to wear my white cowboy hat and a cute western shirt
6. It is more interesting than going in circles
7. I will not just do pleasure shows forever... we will need new challenges.
8. You never know when you might have to herd a random cat or dog away from danger.
9. I need a reason to smile and the last time we chased cows I had a cheek-ache for days.
10. My birthday is coming!

Rain, Rain go away....

So, I've spent three weeks going crazy over my horse as she blows a gravel out her heel and now that she is rideable and fine it WILL NOT stop raining! That is some kind of horrid karma, I imagine. I wonder what I did in a past life to deserve this.

We have ridden... we rode in the yard a few times and yesterday we went on a short trail ride with Lisa - who was getting a horse ready to go to camp for a few weeks. That was fun - we haven't ridden together since just after Lisa found out she was pregnant... so it was good to get out.

The good news is that they rescheduled the show for July 5th which means that we have a week and a half to get our stuff together and we should be able to do all of our classes - if I can get that amount of money together. We are now left with a lot of work to do and rainy days to do it in... if I'm lucky the rain will stop long enough for the bugs to come and eat us alive! Yesterday I worked on her trot in the yard, getting her to slow it down and trying very hard not to fuss with her head so much... I think that is where we went wrong at the first show - she was fired up and her head was up and I spent the whole day messing with her mouth and not trying anything else to slow her down and that pissed us both off.

I am still worried about her feet - she had another pocket where she was shedding off some frog on her front feet and we are putting benadyne on it every day to keep it hard and clean. She is back to being sound but after the multitude of opinions that I got about her feet when she was off, I worry that I am not doing the right thing. What I have decided to do is give her some more time... She still isn't growing wall on her back feet as much as she should, according to Bethany, so I am considering shoes for the rest of the summer - could pull them off after E. Corinth and then let her get back to normal over the winter. That way I wouldn't have to worry about her being 'ouchy' on the rocks, etc. and it would give her feet some time to strenghten and grow.

In any case, I have a lot of riding to do before I will know exactly how she is doing and where we are... I feel so stalled - stalled in riding, yes, but stalled in life too. I am starting to get very frustrated with being laid off... I try so hard to stay in a routine and take care of myself and be good to the people around me but at times I think the turn that things have taken is dramatically unfair. I hate not having the sense of purpose that goes with having a place you 'must' be everyday. I hate getting up in the morning and knowing that this is another day that I don't have a job. I cannot stand going to bed at night and that it doesn't matter what time it is b/c I do not have a commitment for the next day - it's not that I don't enjoy the time I get to spend doing other things... if it wasn't for Lisa, who is off work on maternity leave, I wouldn't know what to do with myself. We've been taking care of the barn and of the baby and I like to think that I am useful at times. There are so many things I am grateful to have had the time to do - like ride at Amanda's and trail ride with Betsy in the middle of the week... but each thing I do and each day that goes by is one day farther away from my being a marketable employee... I cannot help but wonder if my value is diminishing as we go.

I am hoping to get a school job for the fall and be able to relax for the rest of the summer. There is less to apply for than when I got laid off and I am frustrated with how little I've accomplished in getting resumes out.

The monotony of the last few weeks has been broken up by having our houseguests, Scott and Nikki, and their baby, Isaac, staying with us. Scott is a great cook and is making us dinners and Isaac is walking now and is into everything. It's nice to have the company as Karl is either doing baseball stuff or is at work or sleeping... I wonder is this third shift job will wear us all out or just him.

I guess despite Sky being better, I am just sad... not sure if it's the weather or if it's not having a job or if it's the lack of time I spend with my husband. I think the more I get into the saddle the less I will worry about where money is going to come from or what will happen next. I will be happy, I think, when sitting on Sky feels normal again as riding feels so strange after three weeks away. My faith in the future is thin, except that I know there is another day coming.

C

PS - sorry - this wasn't meant to be depressing!

So Sorry

Ok - I am a big bad blogging loser! I am sorry.. I have a good excuse.. I still have houseguests and my horse has been taking up all my energy.

So, Sky is doing much better - I am happy to say. Today I kicked her out back with everyone else b/c I know how frustrated she is with being inside and in the round pen at night... She is full of energy and walking normally so we are now just waiting for her heel to heal up (HA! that was funny.... heal/heel... get it..)

Anyway, here is the deal... we were wondering what was wrong with Sky... so Lisa said it was her hip - Bethany said she didn't look 'foot sore' - John said she was unbalanced and had no foot to stand on - John's farrier, Steve, said she was 'severely unbalanced' and needed shoes with wedges... all these opinions kept me in tears for about a week as I did not know who to trust or what to think.

We had Gretchen Ham ( a vet and chiropractor) come out and have a look at her.... so i pull her out of her stall and she was WAY worse than she had been... Gretchen says, "so I am guessing it's this leg"... she looks her up and down and then says to me, "has this always been here"... she turned out to have a gravel (like an abscess) coming out her heel.

So we have been for a week, soaking and wrapping and walking and she is doing much better. Her heel kind of split across the back and is now hardening up as it heels from the inside. I rode for the first time yesterday and she was... well, she acted much like a horse who has been off for two weeks and has spent a lot of time in a stall! I am a cranky bitch this week so the combo was not good (oh, don't forget the hoards of tiny black bugs swarming us... that added a lot to the experience!) Anyway, we managed to get around at the walk/trot a bunch of times and I am looking forward to trail riding this weekend if it kills me!

Oh, forgot to tell you all about the show... or lack there of... Saturday we look at Sky and she was good enough to go for showmanship and trail (the only things I did good at last time!)... So I decide on Saturday at around 4 to go to a show the next morning. I bathed and clipped and wrapped and blanketed... then Sunday AM I woke up to continuous rain! Yuk!

I get to the barn and Michelle was about as enthused as I was about standing out in the rain all day... we talked ourselves into backing out until Lisa came into the barn with B already packed up and said, "let's go!"... So, we relented and got Red and Sky on the trailer and hit the highway... luckily I had left my phone in my back pocket and felt the buzz on my butt when Judy called to say that they were postponing the show... I was thrilled with this for two obvious reasons.. 1. I didn't want to stand in the rain all day and 2. I know have more time for Sky to heal and to get better before we try again so we can do all of our classes!

Anyway, I will let you know how we do.

C

Grounded

Today is Saturday - we are on Day Three of Sky's injury/illness/??? - she is 'off' on her back left leg and the reason is a mystery to us in the barn. She isn't super lame... just favoring it and seems stiff.

We are STILL waiting for the farrier to come... it will be Monday at some point. I guess she didn't get back to Lisa b/c she was over on her phone minutes and didn't want to call until she was into a free weekend... call me a crazy horse mom but that doesn't sound like a good business person to me. But I am super worried about Sky and think that everyone else should be just as concerned!

We've been keeping her in a stall and giving her bute to help her feel better. Lisa took her out and looked at her this morning and says that she's a 1 out of 5 on the 'lameness scale'... I think she is better than yesterday, when she was favoring it a lot more. Improvement is good, I guess.

My therory at this point is that she is the one who kicked the stall door (Onyx's)... I think this because I noticed two cuts on her lower leg that were new when she was hurt... It's either that (in my mind) or she is bruised from walking on her sole rather than the wall bearing the weight b/c she isn't growing enough... which would mean she needs shoes. GRRr... not knowing what is up is awful.

I am worried about Sky and her wellbeing and her health... that's the first priority. But I am also thinking that we will be unimproved in performance for the upcoming double judged LRSS show that is coming up at lightening speed - next Sunday... eight days away. IF she is better, than we will more likely than not, go and suck... IF she isn't than I will bag the idea of going for LRSS year ends and points and skip it in order to go to another series show and mix and match...after all this is a 'growing year' for us.

Overall I am just worried and scared and sad that Sky isn't doing well. It makes me realize how delicate she is and how much I would miss her if we couldn't be the team that we have always been.

It is hard to know what the right thing to do for her is. I wish there was one right answer.

C

What's wrong with Sky?

So, right now I am waiting for Lisa to get home so she can look at Sky and tell me if I am legitamately upset or if I am losing my mind... I do not think it's the latter.

I took yesterday off as I have been spending so much time up at Lisa's and we have friends staying at our house so I decided to take a whole day to stay home... today I came back to my old routine and was excited to ride and get back into a training program so that we can work toward the next show.. in only twelve days!

I did spend some quality time updating my resume and applying to a couple of jobs online... very proud of myself. While Lisa and Josh are off doing errands, I decided that was enough and went out to ride.

She was way up on the hill and came to the stall when I called (score for me) and I didn't see any problems watching her walk in from the field... but when I took her out of the stall and put her in the crossties I noticed one of her back legs was slow to move and that she was treating it odddly. After saddling, I walked her forward, watching that leg.... then trotted her while leading her, trying to see it... it was hard to see while leading, so I hopped on and started in a circle..... trying to feel what I thought I had seen... A part of me thought she would just walk off whatever was going on and be fine... but after halfway around the yard I realized that she didn't feel right... so I trotted to try to feel it more pronouncedly - knowing that the trot is where you can see and feel problems best.... definately off... I could feel her favoring her back right leg... so I got off and tried to lunge her with my long rein and now I can definately see her favoring the leg... OH NO!

So I led her up to the barn and untacked her... put a rope halter on her and lunged her again outside the barn doors... something is not right.

I picked all of her feet and think I can see two pink areas on that hoof... bruises, I think. Bethany thought that she wasn't growing enough wall on her back legs, which she was going to check in another week. If she is in fact not growing enough wall then she will need shoes - ouch!! (I mean ouch for me b/c that is an expense I don't think I can take).... I suppose it could be an absess - something that seems to be circulating around the barn - but I don't think so... but what do I know!

So, now I am waiting for Lisa to get home and then for Bethany to come... hoping so much that it is nothing big - hoping that she will be ok - hoping it won't be expensive - hoping that she will have enough time to work to get better before the next show - hoping, praying, waiting....

C

LRSS 5/31

So, our first show is over.. under our belt, which is a good thing. I have to apologize for not having written much lately but life has been busy - a funny thing to hear from someone without a job, but it's true.

Last week we spent the better part of three days driving out to NY to help our friends who are moving to NH. We helped them pack up what they wanted to take and put what they were leaving into an order fit for showing their house to prospective buyers. Karl drove one of their cars back and I stayed to watch the baby while they continued to pack. I followed them back on a very long drive in the dark and fog and rain and by the time I got home I was so tired I couldn't think straight.

So that ate up Wednesday, Thursday and Friday of last week - a bad thing b/c I didn't ride any of those days but a good thing in the sense that I probably wouldn't have ridden anyway b/c it was raining here... either that or I would have ridden in the rain and made Sky miserable, as that is her least favorite activity!

By the time Saturday came around and I could ride, there was so much prep to do that Michelle and I did a quick hour long jaunt down the road and I rode in the yard for a bit to make sure she wasn't crazy, and that was it.

I do have to say that Sky was the cleanest she's ever been yesterday! We bathed and scrubbed and wrapped legs to keep them clean. Thanks to Lisa's persistant nature she has now a perfectly pulled mane! (that was a process, let me tell you!) So, by Sunday AM we were good to go.

So this is how our day went - first we did halter for horses 6 and over. There were about 15 people in the class and although the judge eyeballed us a lot, we didn't place. Sky did pretty well to set up but is still cocking her back foot and falling asleep on me!.

Showmanship was a lot harder and then we had Lisa to help us with the pattern. The practice did not go so well just because Sky kept trying to crawl into my or Lisa's pocket and had to learn otherwise - quick! So, we practiced and practiced and by the time I went into the ring, I was all like, "just give it a go"... so we did the pattern and messed up a bit on the pivot but otherwise did ok. There were 16 people in that class and there was a lot of standing around while waiting for the decision. It was worth it, though, because we placed 6th out of 16! Not too shabby for my first time out at showmanship!

Then it was on to riding, and after looking at the equitation pattern, I knew we were doomed. I had asked about having to do a change of lead before and came to the conclusion that I wouldn't have to do one... oh, no... the equitation pattern had one! So, we practiced and practiced and after getting Sky to take the correct lead I realized we might be ok. During the pattern in the class, she took the right lead at first, then for the change, the circle was so small I never got her back into the lope! At that point I thought I was doomed to be last but there was a woman behind me having a very hard time with her horse... so I thought maybe we wouldn't be dead last.... Well, while we were doing rail work her horse spooked at something and she fell off, so so much for that. She seemed ok but shaken up for sure. Sky and I managed to get the correct leads but were no match for the experienced riders and horses in the ring and wound up 4th out of 5 (if you count the woman who fell).

Next, we had adult pleasure in which she broke gait and wound up 5 of 5. Adult Discipline Rail was the same story and despite the success of achieving the correct leads, we broke gait again and had to endure the torture of having the judge watch the whole time! Not like it wasn't bad enough that I was lapping the snotty girls on their perfectly slow horses... oh well, 4 of 4 there.

Open Pleasure Senior Horse I made a new goal just to not break gait... grrr... so we acheived that but still ran circles around everyone. Her trot was much better there but the whole day her headset was never right and I couldn't manage what I wanted with one hand... When we lined up the judge mentioned to me that 'she's a little strong'... I explained that it was our first time showing w/t/c and he seemed to understand us better. We still got 4 of 5 there, but I was estatic to just not be last!

Then it was lunch break and by the time we got back on for trail both Sky and I were ready to be done for the day.... but we waited our turn and did our best... I love trail. I do extra things like sidepass up to the mailbox instead of just walking to it, I made sure to stop at the bridge like the instructions said to do.... in the Adult division we never again made it to loping like we were supposed to... oh, well. When we did the course again for Senior Horse we did get a lope in... the second time through I even tapped the mailbox for good measure and threw the coat over her whole head, not just across my saddle as the instructions said to... hey, it made the judge laugh!

So we wound up winning 1 of 7 for Adult Trail and 1 0f 5 for Senior Horse Trail... enough to make my day before we all pulled out for the day! I have a lot to work on for two weeks from now, but that is a good thing. As much as I hate to get last or do poorly it's a place to improve from, something I wouldn't really have if I was still doing walk/trot.

I was super tired when I got home and passed out at 8. I'm sure Sky was sleeping before then!

C