Monday, June 29, 2009

Gnats, Deerflies, Rain, and Hurt Feet (and hurt feelings)

So we finally had a Blackwater ride yesterday! Yeah - after Sky being out of commission and all the rain we've had, I was very excited to go to Betsy's for a ride. That being said, I cannot wait to catch a ride in Betsy's new truck on Thursday when we go to Bear Brook.

Anyway, I wake up yesterday to drizzle... YUK! But I plan to grab my raincoat and head out anyway. This is the part in my story when my husband, Karl, gets home from work and we get into a huge fight regarding some wrongs he has done to me in the past week. I am not going to get into this in detail b/c this blog is not about my marraige, but about my time with Sky... but for those of you who know me, you probably know about this anyway... my husband did something stupid and hurtful and it's been done before and this time sorry is not enough.

Needless to say the yelling made me late getting to the barn and I had to pull Sky away from her big pile of hay to go for a ride. Considering that Sky hasn't been ridden much in the past weeks b/c of the rain and her gravel, I was excited for the ride but also a little aprehensive that she wouldn't be ok... She turned out to be a trooper on the road (per usual) and once I got to Betsy's I was doing my best to get in a better mood.

STOP! How can anyone be in a good mood with little, tiny, black bugs flying in your ears and your eyes and your nose - not to mention swarming your head in general and seemingly attempting to drag your horse away! The same bugs that keep us from doing any speed less than a trot in Lisa's yard are at home in Betsy's yard as well... I kept Sky moving to avoid being eaten alive and my bad mood continued... after all the time and efffort and waiting out of the rain we did this is what I get!

Sky did pretty well once we got going but the overgrowth of vegetation everywhere you looked was all and all too tempting for her... she lunged, open mouthed and teeth bared, at every branch, clover, grass and tree we happened to be near.. needless to say, this gets old after a while and usually I would be doing some schooling - making her work somehow once she took a bite (something Clinton Anderson calls, "letting her commit to the mistake) but in a group of trail riders and on sometimes narrow trails, I resorted to simply pulling her away from each tempting leaf.

On the rocks, Sky was obviously "ouchy" and it broke my heart again. I have come to the conclusion that the best thing for her will be to put shoes on for the rest of the summer. I just cannot stand that she is so uncomfortable.

So, these factors contribute to my mood - greatly. I am trying very hard to smile through the swarms of bugs and the hurt feelings I have and listen to the chit-chat going on ahead of me. It's hard. At one point I thought I was literally going to cry on my horse! Luckily that is when Betsy turned around and smiled at me which made me feel better that at least someone noticed I was having a rough time of it.

Anway, into the woods we go and the deerflies start in - yuk yuk yuk! Boy, do those things hurt when they bite! Especially they hurt when you are pushing your horse to step first into a mucky stream that she cannot see the bottom to - but she did it - first through water!!! I was insanely proud of her despite being attacked by deerflies while we waited for everyone to get through.

Yesterday was not my best day. I was not myself. I couldn't wait to get off my horse and that is wrong! Lately I am so sad and angry that I can barely ride at all, for fear that my temper will flair and I will take it out on Sky. But again and again she gives me another chance that this time when I take her out she will be the thing that makes me smile and make me feel better. She always is it's just that lately it doesn't last. That is scary.

I'm sorry that I cannot report a wonderful experience. It was a nice ride and I did enjoy getting out... it's just that the circumstances were not so great. I am hoping that we will get to ride enough this week that I will feel comfortable showing Sunday.... I hope that we will get to do something cool for my birthday, which is usually a non-event. Anyway, we will see.

C

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